Where to Look

Battles truly are won or lost in the mind.  Escaping the well worn ruts of lies and their companion feelings is a struggle.  I want out of the ditches.  My dearest friend told me to read Hebrews 11 everyday for a month in order to get my focus right. At first I doubted there was anything there that applies to one of my worries/ditches (they rotate like a “flavor of the day”)—getting a job when the world considers you ‘over-the-hill’.  I have no college degree, been out of the workplace for 20 years, and struggling with several health situations.  I read through the chapter; didn’t see a thing.  Next day, I really did not care to read it again, but I promised so I did.  There it was! – “By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.”  (verse 11)  Sarah’s age was not a deterrent to God.  “Is there anything too difficult for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14).  It’s the Who of my faith that matters; God makes possible what in the natural is limiting or seems impossible.  *He* provides.

Looking at oneself, others, or circumstances can be a downer; looking *up* dispels the fear and gives glory to God.

Never too old.

Sitting in the lobby of my child’s after school activity I spot the encouragement my grieving heart was looking for: “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”-C.S. Lewis

Beyond middle age I, racked with multiple health problems I am now going to have to endure a divorce by a narcissistic abuser.  I have read Bill Eddy’s book, “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder”; and I am afraid.  The future, post-divorce seems equally dark; fraught with emotional pain, poverty, and loneliness.

I had to fight back tears in that lobby thinking about the fight ahead and it’s aftermath. And it led to me wondering if God is against people being happy.  I’ve read so many articles on the Christian life being about joy in the midst of suffering that I wonder if that’s all there is—-suffering.  It seems mention the word “happy” to some Christians and it’s treated like sacrilege.  So when I saw a beautiful graphic with a C.S. Lewis quote I felt some hope.  Surely he walked with God and felt it good to have goals and dreams.  I’m daring to adopt this mindset.